Post by Heather and Judy on Dec 27, 2008 20:05:28 GMT -5
When we adopted our son, there were a number of behaviours and problems which had not been revealed to us. So we were on a constant learning curve trying to catch up. We had him in our home six months before we began to think he was RAD. This was confirmed by our therapist several months later.
One of his behaviours which really took us by surprise was his ability to tantrum. We could not understand how a nearly four year old child could tantrum non-stop for hours. The tanturms were a daily behaviour most of them lasting only about 30 minutes. However he could rip and often did for up to five hours. It was amazing to realize this little body could scream at the top of his lungs for hours and never lose his voice. It was astonishing then, but not now that we know more.
We lived this for about two years until one day when I escorted him to his room. I don't know what the final infraction was that caused me to tell him it was time to go to his room but I was at the end of my rope and not looking forward to another round of screaming, banging and kicking.
When he turned to look at me, I saw nothing but fury on his face and in his eyes. I'll never know where this thought came from but I looked him in the eye, smiled and said: "By the power vested in me as your mother, I am removing your right to tantrum."
His mouth dropped open and I waited for the screams. Instead, he said: "I can't tantrum anymore?" I responded calmly and simply "no you can not." I closed the door.
I don't know what clicked in there, but we have not had a tantrum since and that is nealy a year ago. I am also bright enough to know that line may never work on him again.
Enjoy,
Judy
One of his behaviours which really took us by surprise was his ability to tantrum. We could not understand how a nearly four year old child could tantrum non-stop for hours. The tanturms were a daily behaviour most of them lasting only about 30 minutes. However he could rip and often did for up to five hours. It was amazing to realize this little body could scream at the top of his lungs for hours and never lose his voice. It was astonishing then, but not now that we know more.
We lived this for about two years until one day when I escorted him to his room. I don't know what the final infraction was that caused me to tell him it was time to go to his room but I was at the end of my rope and not looking forward to another round of screaming, banging and kicking.
When he turned to look at me, I saw nothing but fury on his face and in his eyes. I'll never know where this thought came from but I looked him in the eye, smiled and said: "By the power vested in me as your mother, I am removing your right to tantrum."
His mouth dropped open and I waited for the screams. Instead, he said: "I can't tantrum anymore?" I responded calmly and simply "no you can not." I closed the door.
I don't know what clicked in there, but we have not had a tantrum since and that is nealy a year ago. I am also bright enough to know that line may never work on him again.
Enjoy,
Judy