Post by Heather and Judy on Sept 15, 2009 9:42:30 GMT -5
We keep a "Hobby Jar" around to help deal with our little guy's habits or hobbies as we call them. These include but are not limited to screaming, foot stomping, nose picking, paint peeling, seat kicking, face making, and about 20 other annoying behaviours.
When he demonstrates a new habit, we write it down on a piece of paper and put it into the jar. Then a couple of times during the day we declare it is "hobby time." This is when we go to the hobby jar and pick out a paper at random. Whatever is pulled out is the "hobby" our little guy gets to practice for 10 minutes.
For example if screaming is pulled out he gets ten minutes to scream. The time does not start until he begins screaming and will run for ten minutes. The first time a little darling is given something like this it may take some time before they start screaming. They like to do it when they want to do it, not when you give them the time to do it. Gentle, friendly, humourous reminders that the time does not start until they begin secreaming may be needed. Once they do start screaming, be sure to ladle on the praise for their efforts. Usually doing this a few times greatly reduces the screaming they do to annoy. We are lucky to have a big property so we can send the little guy out back to do the screaming.
With something like the nose picking he gets to do that in the "privacy" of his own room. After the ten minutes is up he must wash his face and hands. It does not matter if he picks his nose or not, just having it assigned cuts down on his doing it publically to embarass or annoy.
You also have to be prepared to give up some of your own time for something like face making. This is done with you as the audience to praise the faces made and to ensure it is being done. Once again, this greatly reduces the face making he does on his own.
For something like paint peeling we give the little guy a piece of scrap wood that is painted so he can practice on it. This has greatly reduced his peeling paint off the walls in his room, bed and other inappropriate places.
He also gets some practice with name calling but it is not always from the hobby jar. For example, one day I was carrying an 80 pound feed bag, fell on the steps and it landed on top of me. Well, my rear end had a huge, very colourful bruise on it. So one day when I got the little darling up I told him he could not call me "Momma" that day. He had to answer and speak to "Rainbow Chicken Butt" all day. So it was "Yes Rainbow Chicken Butt" or "No Rainbow Chicken Butt" all day long. When he got ready for bed he asked if he could go back to calling me Momma again. That was more than a month ago and he has not called me a name since then.
Your "Hobby Jar" can be as varied and creative as your little sweetheart is. Just remember proscribing the problem can be fun and make your life easier.
Enjoy,
Judy
When he demonstrates a new habit, we write it down on a piece of paper and put it into the jar. Then a couple of times during the day we declare it is "hobby time." This is when we go to the hobby jar and pick out a paper at random. Whatever is pulled out is the "hobby" our little guy gets to practice for 10 minutes.
For example if screaming is pulled out he gets ten minutes to scream. The time does not start until he begins screaming and will run for ten minutes. The first time a little darling is given something like this it may take some time before they start screaming. They like to do it when they want to do it, not when you give them the time to do it. Gentle, friendly, humourous reminders that the time does not start until they begin secreaming may be needed. Once they do start screaming, be sure to ladle on the praise for their efforts. Usually doing this a few times greatly reduces the screaming they do to annoy. We are lucky to have a big property so we can send the little guy out back to do the screaming.
With something like the nose picking he gets to do that in the "privacy" of his own room. After the ten minutes is up he must wash his face and hands. It does not matter if he picks his nose or not, just having it assigned cuts down on his doing it publically to embarass or annoy.
You also have to be prepared to give up some of your own time for something like face making. This is done with you as the audience to praise the faces made and to ensure it is being done. Once again, this greatly reduces the face making he does on his own.
For something like paint peeling we give the little guy a piece of scrap wood that is painted so he can practice on it. This has greatly reduced his peeling paint off the walls in his room, bed and other inappropriate places.
He also gets some practice with name calling but it is not always from the hobby jar. For example, one day I was carrying an 80 pound feed bag, fell on the steps and it landed on top of me. Well, my rear end had a huge, very colourful bruise on it. So one day when I got the little darling up I told him he could not call me "Momma" that day. He had to answer and speak to "Rainbow Chicken Butt" all day. So it was "Yes Rainbow Chicken Butt" or "No Rainbow Chicken Butt" all day long. When he got ready for bed he asked if he could go back to calling me Momma again. That was more than a month ago and he has not called me a name since then.
Your "Hobby Jar" can be as varied and creative as your little sweetheart is. Just remember proscribing the problem can be fun and make your life easier.
Enjoy,
Judy