Third Party Conversations

[Heather and Judy]

Sometimes we use third party conversations to get a point across to our son. I am the stay at home mom and am alone with him many days. So how do I have a third party conversation when there are only two of us present. Well........

I use our horses to accomplaish this. We have a very intelligent mare who can figure things out pretty quickly. Today, my son revealed a "crack" in a skip that "just appeared." Upon looking at it, it was obvious that this will never hold water again and is useless to us. So while walking Ariela (the mare) past him we had an enlightening conversation.

Ariela pointed out (while I intrepreted) that my son is the only one who uses the skip. Therefore he must have been the one who caused the crack in the skip. I agreed with her.

By this means, we let our son know that we know what he did and he is not getting away with anything sneaky. Usually his manner improves after this kind of interaction.

We also use our dogs, cats, rabbit and sometimes the ducks to help us in our "third party conversations" to heal our son.

Enjoy,
Judy

[carol]

This is excellent! It opens the door for him to come clean with this and then progress to a solution to rectify the damage, i.e extra chore, restitution, etc. Whatever is decided to accept responsibility for damaging something will help him heal. Good stuff.

[Heather and Judy]

AND...it's hilarious! It is fun for the parents, amusing for the child and does not create a situation that encourages lying...win-win all around....

If the child does not come clean - he still knows the parents know he did it, if the child does come clean - he is getting stronger...

H