Post by Heather and Judy on Jan 23, 2009 10:30:16 GMT -5
School is a difficult subject. We sent our son to two different schools - one at 4 years old and one at 5 years old. At 5 years, he was basically asked not to attend.
There were major differences between each school and how our son reacted to them, and the subsequent effect this had at home, however, that could be a separate post.
We started out saying that we could not, would not, have our son at home every day and that he HAD to go to school for us to stay sane.
However, when school was no longer a possibility, we learned to embrace a new reality of having a disturbed child at home with us all the time.
This really forced us to deal with things directly as we no longer had the escape of school.
In addition, we noticed our son getting healthier in some ways and believe that was due to the removal of school. ie) he could not go to school and triangulate the teachers there, he could not go and hurt children, he could not go and practice being sneaky, he could not go and practice being a bully and bossing children around, he could not go and practice charming, and he didn't have to work so hard to control his environment.
Having our son at home has increased his bond with us and taught him to be more dependent on us, which is something these children need to learn anyway. He has learned much more about what family is, and has learned, educationally, far more things than he would have at school. He lives with two people who know him better than anyone else and can do all the right things for him. We no longer have to wonder what he is doing or saying at school and what we are not being told about, as the school did begin to keep secrets from us, such as our son manipulating extra food and telling a teacher he was going to kill him.
We are not restrained by times or schedules of the schools and go anywhere and do the things we want, when we want. Personally, we have found it relieving, even with a RAD affected child, to have him at home. After the initial shock, you adapt, realizing you know how to therapeutically parent this child and you will do just fine. The scary part goes away!
There were major differences between each school and how our son reacted to them, and the subsequent effect this had at home, however, that could be a separate post.
We started out saying that we could not, would not, have our son at home every day and that he HAD to go to school for us to stay sane.
However, when school was no longer a possibility, we learned to embrace a new reality of having a disturbed child at home with us all the time.
This really forced us to deal with things directly as we no longer had the escape of school.
In addition, we noticed our son getting healthier in some ways and believe that was due to the removal of school. ie) he could not go to school and triangulate the teachers there, he could not go and hurt children, he could not go and practice being sneaky, he could not go and practice being a bully and bossing children around, he could not go and practice charming, and he didn't have to work so hard to control his environment.
Having our son at home has increased his bond with us and taught him to be more dependent on us, which is something these children need to learn anyway. He has learned much more about what family is, and has learned, educationally, far more things than he would have at school. He lives with two people who know him better than anyone else and can do all the right things for him. We no longer have to wonder what he is doing or saying at school and what we are not being told about, as the school did begin to keep secrets from us, such as our son manipulating extra food and telling a teacher he was going to kill him.
We are not restrained by times or schedules of the schools and go anywhere and do the things we want, when we want. Personally, we have found it relieving, even with a RAD affected child, to have him at home. After the initial shock, you adapt, realizing you know how to therapeutically parent this child and you will do just fine. The scary part goes away!
